why the heavy heart?

Life, as of lately. is frustrating. and out of all the people living in this world {that is filled with so much tragedy, heartache and loss} i hardly have room to complain. But right now i am somewhat stuck. my wheels are spinning, along with my heart and head, but i don't seam to be getting anywhere. or moving forward at all. i want to be. i want to be moving and going somewhere... but I'm not moving. I'm still confused and left wondering. I know I'm just a kid. a high schooler. amateur, at this thing we call life. but that doesn't mean that i can't feel a little lost. maybe even a lot lost. perhaps that has a little something to do with these feelings?

i've been having a hard couple of day. and no, i cannot pin point the source of the confusion and frustration that keeps pushing me over. but every time I'm on the edge of another ambiguous meltdown i  remind myself that:

 i am immensely blessed. 
i have a wonderful life. i was blessed with amazing parents and four beautiful sisters.
 i live in a country that gives me the right to be and become anything i choose. i live around millions of trees and hundreds of beautiful flowers. i've developed a talent that has taken years and hundreds of hours to develop, and at then end of the day i can make beautiful music that thousands long to be able to do. i live in a beautiful clean house and i love the way it feels when i go home after a long and stressful day. i laugh. i create. i dream. i work. i play. i 'm learning. i have the gospel in my life. and i wake up every morning with the knowledge that i am a child of god and i will return to him one day. 


thats why its important to:

we got frogs in biology today. i named ours louis. except forlouis turned out to be a girl. so i decided we could change louis to louise. it didn't stick so we stuck with louis. poor louis {whom was already dead} was dissected. cut opened? gutted? completely butchered? yes. it was disgusting. i had to excuse myself from the room for 1- feeling extremely sick and 2- feeling sorry for our little friend louis. i mean louise. {may he rest in peace.}

which reminds me:

Princess died. yes the massive pig of my childhood is no longer. i miss her already, that ham.

today i am thankful for charlie. {he ate a live fly yesterday} caught it with his little paws. talented old chap. 

{NOLLE}