moobs, swass, and wheezy laughs.

The hallelujah chorus most definitely was blaring through my mind as i crossed the finish line this morning. so yes. i finished it. alive and breathing. most definitely not at my normal rate but i arrived without hurling, falling flat on my face, or having to crawl on hands and knees to the finish line. i will most definitely be putting myself through that torment again. and soon. it was far greater of an experience than i had even imagined. and made for many wheezy laughs. those of you who have never had the opportunity to run a race in your community heres what you have to anticipate. 

- giggling boobs/moobs. which put in context equals two saggy fat flab's flailing wildly as their owner bounds on freely without a care in the world along the course of the race. swinging back and forth bouncing up and down, practically doing an irish jig across the chest. only two words can sum it up freely:: nice. moobs. 


- Captain America. The statue of liberty. Abraham Lincoln, Uncle Sam, Wonder Woman and many others in full costume. loud and proud. but whatever floats your boat or sinks your submarine, just go for it. 


- 80 year old men in spandex. and grandmas close in age wearing leotards.. maybe a little too tight for my liking. how about you. 


- Swoob. Swass. And various other sweaty areas including the back, crotch, neck and head. I have never in my sixteen short years of life witnessed so many sweaty butts. The cheeks, the crack, you name it and there was swass. Unfortunately this doesn't go without saying that I didn't have it, because I without a doubt was fashioning the same wet sweat stains on my booty shorts along with nearly every other person who ran the race. One lady in particular (bless her heart.) had two perfect sweat rings around each cheek, therefore extenuating her bum cheeks to their fullest and sweatiest potential. 


all in all it was the perfect way to start the day that is meant for appreciating our county and the freedoms we have. I am humbled to live in such beautiful and wonderful place. i will forever be indebted to the men and woman who have fought to keep me free. Thank you America. i sure do love you. and the freedom run. 


yours truly-nolle.