bloody monday

you know those times when although life really isn't "that" bad, it sometimes feels "that" bad? You know those times when you realize that like it or not there are a handful of things in your life that yet again have hit another all time low? and you're laying on your stomach discovering that it has become far too flabby for your own good and every time you look in the mirror you see the double chin creeping up? And even your fat pants are making you feel fat? And being the hopeless romantic you are you find yourself fantasizing about your first kiss more and more often and then you start to wonder if it will ever even happen? And although your only 16.5 you feel like you'll die an old maid with 85 cats. and all you really want is to be wanted by somebody but even you don't really want you? so then you throw yourself another pity party but all you do at that party is throw theoretical bowling balls at people you pretty much despise for the time being? and all you want to do is sleep forever and ever and never wake up? And that song thats playing over and over through your head is "I will" from the Beatles white Album which is a wonderful song and although this crappy monday has hit an all time low your musical taste has hit an all time high, so life could actually be a lot worse? yeah, me too.

Second period was nearing end when the alarms went off causing immediate brain aneurisms to those sitting closest to the source blaring noise. Ten minutes later a truck arrived and students began to wonder, could this be more than a drill? Could it actually be? twenty minutes later and to the students great dismay news that the school was not literally "on fire" began to circle. Therefore the unfortunate adolescents were required to drag their tired little butts back into school for another bloody monday. classic sob story of an 11th grade kid named nolle who, as bad as it may sound, crossed her fingers for the cancellation of classes due to an actual fire. it didn't happen. it was only a small incident in the chemistry lab.

we are friends. 

other exciting news as of 10-24-11?
i shaved a cat.
and ate sugar free pudding.

i took a nap. it was heavenly. nearly two hours long. waking up was a harsh reality. its just good to know that pleasant afternoon naps on the family room sofa with an old soft blanket still exist. and so does santa.

heres a simple request, if you know my name would you be so kind as to throw me a smile at the very least? maybe even a head nod and if you're really brave a simple hello would be more than acceptable, it'd probably make my day. i don't have a disease. I'm actually pretty funny. I'm just a little different. although there are many please try to see past the imperfections.

someday i'd like to be a mom. one who bakes cookies and hosts birthday parties and loves unconditionally. a mom who spoils her kids just as much as mine has. i'd like to be a mom that other mothers aspire to be like. i hope to be somewhat of the mother that mine has been to me.

friends, i know its not mothers day but i want to express my love for my mother in a few short words. its goes like this: i love her.

i want to be as wonderful as she is someday. i take her for granted. and i forget to thank not only her but my father in heaven for sending me to her. i am truly blessed. i owe who i am today to her. she has taught me and been an example to me from day one.  

sometimes we're not the best of friends. we don't always see eye to eye. and i am the snotty teenager and she's the stuffy mom. but she knows what's best for me, because she's been in my shoes. she's has traveled the road i am on right now and she knows from first hand experience what i'm going through.  she is beautiful and her testimony in the savior Jesus Christ radiates in everything she does. She gives everything she has and loves with her whole entire heart. she is the strongest woman i know and i love her. 

i know never read my blog but if you happen to someday, thank you. for everything. i love you. 

yours, nolle.